Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The Disconnect Doesn't Always Happen

We deal with so many broken people. Hardened criminals, people who snapped one day & committed a serious crime, then there are the families left to deal with what has happened. It's hard to stay detatched from everyone all the time. Sometimes you go out of your way to be more helpful or a bit more reassuring. Sometimes you give them your card because it's like handing a lifeline to someone whose life has just been demolished. When everything comes crashing down people will grab for any outstretched hand to help steady them at first. Some cops have taken a page from the old book & use their job as a dating service. I know real connections *have* been made but not usually. I think many of us are at times more involved than we need to be or sometimes more than we should be. Eames is a quiet yet dilligent supporter of womens' issues and you can bet that is we are dealing with any kind of survivor, they have her number to talk.

My being drawn to the kid that reminded me of my brother (& myself at times) was actually pretty mild. I've said before how overwhelming it is to connect so much with those who commit heinious acts of violence. Not just sort of understand the pathology, but find a thread running thru them that I connect with. Before John was killed in prison I visited him. I had to. He affected me so much. Looking at him, it made me realize just what lonliness, extreme lonliness can do to the wrong pathology. If you're already compromised then simple, ok overwhelming, emotions can just kill any sense of right & wrong. I understood his akwardness and I understood the soul-level need not to be alone. Basic needs. Someone to be there someone to lie next to you at night. Who doesn't want that at least sometimes?

Or the mother who focused every minute of every day on being a good mom and was unable to see that she really was one. Someone so beaten down by negativity, overwhelmed with responsibility and compromised by a chemical imbalance that homicide and suicide was her only percieved way out. What she did was horrific but no one realizes it more than she does. This case ate away at me because there was absolutely no reason for this tragedy. With help, meds and support she would have been fine and her boys would be alive.

Sometimes doing something or saying something is the only way to live with what I see.

7 Comments:

Blogger Lisa said...

The NYPD is lucky to have you, dearest Bobby. Your compassion and dedication to the victimized is part of what makes you the man you are. Bless You!

11:12 AM  
Blogger Cordelia said...

The paths people walk, the turns they make, wrong and right, the wonder: what could've been? Where did it all go wrong? I guess your work are lined by questions like these. Interesting.

11:32 AM  
Blogger Cordelia said...

Sorry about my lousy spelling skills.

11:35 AM  
Blogger VDOFan said...

Every police district in every state should be blessed with cops who are just like you! You are truly a gift and you have such care and compassion. That you can't turn away, and you want to help as much as you can on or off the case. They (other police districts) should be so lucky to have such cops with tremendous hearts with compassion such as you.

That lifeline is important to those that especially need it. Cause it may be the only thing that they have to hold on to. To get help and it may be the only hope they have. Being a cop doesn't mean that you are not human and don't have any compassion or feelings.. Sometimes you just may need to be more than just a cop to help someone. You and Eames are truly wonderful and you ALWAYS do the right thing. even if you don't feel it at times.

You should give yourself more credit than what you do as well as others around you in your workforce should recognize you as well. For the kindhearted, compassionate,caring, cop you are. And what you do for people. I know it's not about recoginacance. but about anyway that you can with the power that you have with the job to help others.

God bless you Bobby and all others in the "force" to do what you do everyday. I don't know if I ever could.

Ps.. sometimes I don't post cause simply I don't always know what to say that hasn't already been said and I don't always know of how I can be of help to you. Even though I want to and would like to as much as you would let me.

hugs and God bless
your friend Janice

11:59 AM  
Blogger ann said...

Bobby, it's being in the right place at the right time; sometimes that what it takes to make a difference to someone's life.

lotsa luv ann xxx

7:11 PM  
Blogger a_lonely_girl said...

when u look at your life...are u happy with it?

8:06 PM  
Blogger DNY LOVES CRIMINAL MINDS said...

Bobby: I think Ann is right and that sometimes it is just a matter of being at the right place at the right time. You do a wonderful job and you are a sympathetic and caring person. :)

8:27 PM  

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