Friday, April 28, 2006

Life Goes Grey

Hey, have you fallen off the shelf?
Can I help you get yourself, back together?
I'm so tired, can I help you save yourself?
Have your friends all changed?
All the people that you thought would be around,
As your light goes grey,
Are you losing all the hope you thought you'd found,
I think we're numb

Hey, have you found somebody new?
Have you found yourself unglued, for the first time in your life?
Can I help you save yourself?

Have your friends all changed?
All the people that you thought would be around,
As your life goes grey,
Are you losing all the hope you thought we'd found,
I think we're numb

And tell me do you feel like dying?
Tell me does it hurt just waking?
Tell me have you lost the reasons you ever wanted to fight?
Has it left you lonely?
Tell me do you pray for morning?
Tell me does it hurt just waking?
Tell me have you lost the reasons you ever wanted to fight?
And you know it's all impossible.

15 Comments:

Blogger Lisa said...

Dearest Bobby,

Your true friends haven't changed and will always be here for you. You have been making so much progress and we are all behind you, supporting you, and giving you all our love. Remember you are not alone!

11:38 AM  
Blogger Gracie said...

I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while. I had to take a break. After reading what I've missed I realize that I am feeling angry with you. You just blow off all the support and I guess that makes me feel like I don't matter to you, that I'm not worth it. I want to matter to you. Do I?

2:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For people who have suffered some great loss in their life, sometimes it can appear quite grey. When you face a moment of loss you find yourself in another world...one that is seemingly standing still for you but moving at warp speed for those around you...for those not intimately involved in your loss. It can make it seem that your friends have indeed all changed...we give a person roughly a month if the person who has gone (or died) was very very close to them (parent, spouse, child) but most Americans don't realize that dealing with the sudden departure of someone you have spoken with or seen on a daily basis all your life or for at least many years is not something that can be dealt with in a week, or a month, or even a year. Shock is present in the first few moments, and then the "doing" takes over...lots to do, arrangements to be made, people to tell, etc. This phase can last a week or longer. This is a great time...you are far too busy dealing with the details of death or loss to feel anything at all...there is no color to the world, no movement in life except when you are taking care of everything and everyone else.
The hardest part of losing someone close (and I do believe that one can begin greieving that person prior to their actual death) is the coming back to life that you eventually (well if you don't decide to cash in your own chips that is) must face. One day, you realize that the color has begun to return, you feel a gentle breeze on your face, you laugh at a joke, you find yourself thinking that this is a good day to be alive on...and you pause...and you think "how could I think such a thing...how could I enjoy life when my mother, father, spouse, child, best friend, etc. is gone forever?"
It's a hard place to get stuck...it's a place you can fall back into sometimes regardless of the length of time that has passed...
Rereading this shows me that I have wandered far from my original point but that's perhaps the point of life...to wander far and be able to come home again to yourself.

3:06 PM  
Blogger ann said...

TO HOPE

And, as in sparkling majesty, a star
Gilds the bright summit of some gloomy cloud;
Brightening the half veil'd face of heaven afar
So, when dark thoughts my boding spirit shroud,
Sweet Hope, celestial influence round me shed,
Waving thy silver pinions o'er my head

John Keats

Please don't lose hope Bobby; please don't give up the fight you've got everything to live for.

lotsa luv ann xxxxx

6:53 PM  
Blogger Cordelia said...

Is "Life Goes Gray" a song I haven't heard? Have you written it yourself? Can words, and all the real feelings they convey, help ease your pain? I hope so.

7:03 PM  
Blogger Riccie said...

Uhmm, Bobby? Have you been poking around in my brain lately? That's kind of scary. If this is a song, I'm not familiar with it...but it sure hits home.

10:08 PM  
Blogger The Rev. Dr. Kate said...

"Can I help you save yourself?"- to be present for each other in the suffering and the "grey" is what I believe we are here to do. But the choice to be saved is one we make as individuals. We can be with you, Bobby, but you have to choose to save yourself.
There's a comfort in the numbness, isn't there? It feels familiar. When you allow yourself to feel, its the pain that comes through. Grief is like that- and behind the grief are frightening and uncomfortable feelings you aren't sure you can bear. My guess is that you have been unconsciously grieving most of your life . . . you have lost so much. One of the stages in the grief process is anger - and you have been supressing it for a life time. You seem to know that is where you have to go next and it scares you. Its ok to feel that way -and it is ok to just sit there and look at it for a while until you are ready to enter into it. You aren't alone, Bobby -and you are strong enough to do this. You have come to know so much - be brave and keep going. I am praying for you.
Kate+

8:59 AM  
Blogger mrsbg said...

Dear The Rev Dr Kate

My goodness dear, do you realise you talk to Bobby more than I do... hmmmm?

Yours sincerely

mrsbg

10:02 AM  
Blogger DNY LOVES CRIMINAL MINDS said...

Mrs. G: We have already tried pointing that out and it did no good. :(

9:18 PM  
Blogger Gem said...

My, my ....don't we take ourselves a little too seriously. This is supposed to be for fun. Everyone, lighten up!

2:19 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:45 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Amen to that, gem!! Can't we all just enjoy Bobby's blog and get along?? C'mon girls, catfights are so NOT attractive. And Bobby doesn't need this crap...

2:47 AM  
Blogger mrsbg said...

Bobby, Bobby, why's everyone being so mean
Can't they be like you and me
And agree....
..... to disagree

mwahx mwahx mwahx

6:51 AM  
Blogger aboutnici said...

Thanks, Bobby for your inspirational words!

2:40 PM  
Blogger DNY LOVES CRIMINAL MINDS said...

Mrs Goren: Amen to that. :)

12:16 AM  

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