Saturday, April 15, 2006

Emotional Rehab

I never thought of myself as hypersensitive before. I used to believe that I just lived in the moment & often reacted accordingly. I know not everyone does that but I never really thought much of that reality. I thought of it as being more animated- at least sometimes.

An occassionally animated loner.

The incredibly painful truth that I've slowly begun to face is that I am my mother, only in reverse. She retreats inward. I react outwardly. She gets quiet while I overreact. She needs to be brought up & out of basically suicidalness. I need to come down because if I don't I'll self destruct.

One & very much the same.

5 Comments:

Anonymous caseyswife said...

Dearest Bobby -

There is a difference between you and your Mother. She had no control over the illness that ravaged her, no control of her circumstances when it took her.

You do. You are fighting with all you have to stay true to yourself. You are changing things just by talking to us about these issues.

And we will not let you down, ever.

caseyswife

P.S. Wishing you and your Mom a peaceful Easter...

2:14 PM  
Blogger The Rev. Dr. Kate said...

Bobby - We all develop coping mechanisms and you have had some very complicated stuff to cope with. Basically, you have coped very well. The instinct you have to react outward is a healthy one. It is important than you have noticed that there is a line where you feel out of control and wory about self-destructing. What has served you well in the past may not serve you as well now. Re-examining our coping skills as we move through life is the sign of a maturing, growing and healthy human being. It is always uncomfortable to be in a place of emotional transition in our lives. Growing hurts. You are struggling with it faithfully and well. Stay with it - and with us.
I am praying you find your own Easter morning . . .
Kate+

3:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sweet Bobby,You are a lot stronger,mentally,than you know. I know it's frightening when someone in the family has a mental illness.You become afraid that you may have inherited the illness also. Knowing that people here,including myself(I know exactly what you're going thru, personally)care deeply for you, will hopefully give you some solice. Try to have a Happy Easter with your Family. I wish You and I could spend Easter,etc. together all the time! Love, Flo T. xxxxx

5:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry,Bobby,my spelling is terrible. I meant Solace. Peace and Love to you. FT

5:46 PM  
Blogger VDOFan said...

The best thing is you are aware of it, and you can control it. if you want to. You know what you need to work on. I suggest you please do it;)

I wish you the best always Bobby honey.. Please take care and God bless oh and

Have a beautiful blessed very happy easter!

hugs Janice

10:49 AM  

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