Friday, April 07, 2006

Breakable Thread

Yeah I have been a bit more melancholy. I've hit a rough patch of sorts I guess. My reactions to things just seem off, even to me. I'm working on it. No maybe I'm just riding it out. That seems more like it. I feel far more fragile than I look & I know that I'm much more durable than I feel.

I've clocked many hours at Carmel Ridge lately & that hasn't helped me. I have to do what I have to do there to ensure my mothers' care but... when I leave the building & drive off the grounds a chill just sets in. Somewhere in my mind I'm always dreading ending up there myself. I drive away fearing that someday I won't be as lucky.

Someday I'll be stuck on the inside peering out.


Blogger The Rev. Dr. Kate said...

"More fragile than I look, more durable than I feel" . . . you put it very well. I think you do have great reserves of emotional and psychological strength, but even the strongest of people can be worn down overtime and become "fragile." And it is very normal that our worst fears haunt us at the times when we are most fragile . . . living with a family history of mental illness is not easy. I know being in control is important for you - as it is for most adults who have survived deep emotional trauma, but I would still urge you to talk to someone in the mental health field who can support you. You do not have to carry the weight alone and talking to someone does not mean you lose control. It is just a chance to set the load down for awhile before you pick it up again.And it will help you put your fear of being on "the inside peering out" in perspective. There are a lot of folks here who care - keep talking to us. Know that you and your Mom remain in my prayers.

7:07 AM  
Anonymous caseyswife said...

We would never let that happen to you, dearest Bobby.


9:39 AM  
Blogger VDOFan said...

I wouldn't let that happen to you. We are all here for you for every type of support that you may need. Please take care of yourself, and don't let it consume you.

I know easier said than done right?

hugs janice

9:48 AM  
Blogger Axe said...

Bobby, give me your home address. I'll change your life.


10:39 AM  
Blogger Nicole Wallace said...

Only if you don't have an outlet for any madness you experiance...

You shouldn't worry, darling.

1:54 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Hang in there Bobby.

6:52 PM  

I hope you are feeling more hopeful soon. :)

7:25 PM  
Blogger kathryn said...

My mother spent the last nine years of her life in a nursing home. I know how awful it was for us to have to make that decision. With that in mind, I have already told my son that that is what I want. I don't want to frighten my grandchildren or strain my son's marriage. When the time comes, a nursing home is what I want, and I don't want him to feel bad about it. I pointed out to him that I am telling him this now, now when my mind is clear so that he never has to wonder if he made the right decision.
I fear the Alzheimer's disease that took my mother. But I don't fear being on the inside looking out. I've seen it happen. And there are worse things.

12:16 AM  
Anonymous caseyswife said...

Kathryn -
What a wonderful post to share with Bobby and us. Your words are full of the wisdom that comes from experience and I hope they help Bobby - and all of us out here whose fears get bigger than ourselves at times.

Please try and listen to her advice, Bobby. Sounds like she knows where you are coming from.


1:38 AM  
Blogger ann said...

Bobby, part of my work is with nursing homes and I see many residents with dementia and EMI (elderly mental and infirm) and their lives are all the richer for being there and cared for properly. None of us know what will happen to us as we get older (according to some bloggers I should be pushing up daisies by now) but if there is help out there, we should take it.

I know it's hard to see your mother this way, but she is in the best place and her needs are being met.

lotsa luv ann xxxxxxx

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...




mobile statistics
fb mafia wars untraceable cell phone
cell nitro
free homemade mobile porn
syren mobile porn
nokia 3500classic ringtones
empire earth mobile free download blogspot 240 320
replica cell phones
diagram and label the (plasma) cell membrane
free no subscription message tones
free mp3 ringtones download
mobile videos amature
windows mobile device megaupload
stream mobile xxx free
how unlock ice mobile phone
cheap chinese mobile
facesitting video for mobile phone
my boost mobile
the ring 2 ita strieaming mega video
free ring bearer pillow pattern
private sale call mobile
msn ring hack download
pay as you go cell service
how to send a text from a pc to a mobile phone
adonia leg tone serum
free indian mobile porn mms download
free adult nokia mobile
teenagent porno download for mobile
ring with birthstones
wedding ring and string over my baby belly
nes room for mobile phone
ctu ringtones
mobile fucking
bible or cell phone
apoorva mobile
free ringtone for sony ericsson w200i
window mobile omnia freeware
hentai mobile mp4
mobile office 2007
yellow ring around iris
mobile bar
ring size in cm
wholesale cell phones from china
senior citizen health and medicine (stem cell research)
d900 mobile phone
mobile phone tracking
google mobile
star wars ringtones
last cindy lauper ring mp3
how do unlock my at&t phone to use a t mobile sim card
download mp3 player for samsung mobile
antique shriners ring 14k gold small diamond
free ring tone downloads
deep purple ringtones mp3
lg mobile firmware
mobile java tools app game sony ericsson
mobile dentistry
wood affects guitar tone
how to make a rose ring necklace
limewire ringtone
free cell phones no credit card
free nokia mobile software downloads
samsung software for mobile bluetooth hack
obituaries mobile alabama funeral home
opera mobile lg renoir
mobile porn vanessa blue
meadows mobile home park in irvine
virgin mobile free ring tones
funny ringtones for messages
römisch ring gold
label the parts of a onion cell
download the nokia mobile theme
nude mobile clips
squamish cell rectal cancer
3gp video for torrent collection porn mobile
uk business mobile phones
gibbs energy of fuel cell
pentagram ring
mobile docomo serial f901ic country code
animal porn free mobile phone
wedding ing ring
foxit reader 1.1 mobile serial
cell phones stature i 9
300 movie ringtones

9:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

jerseySo whether you are looking for a jersey for yourself or an official NFL jersey as a gift for your children[url=]Roddy White Limited Jersey[/url]
do your homework first There is certainly a possible extensive selection of costs
Buy Pearls and crystals of your choice and this use in working beautiful wristbands in Various colors This type of jersey also has a NFL logo

8:37 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home