Tuesday, March 21, 2006

I Suddenly Remember Each Time We've Met

The sweater. My mother's cream colored sweater with small pearl buttons. I keep seeing it in my dreams. She may be wearing it, or Alex even. Nicole has stood before me in it more than once. It's a comfort thing to me. Every single time it appears it is intended to try and cancel out some of the turmoil that came before it. It was a gift to my mom from my grandmother & she loved it. I realize now that it was a comfort to her as well. It would be draped over the back of her chair at the library, it kept her warm while getting us to school on chilly mornings. It was the first thing that she grabbed after a fight with my father. She would swaddle herself in the fabric and now I know, in those darkest moments, she probably needed my grandmother but was far too proud to admit it. She saw no escape for herself other than to wrap herself tightly while trying to disappear from view.

The sweater was like her security blanket. It made her feel better or it made her body trick her mind into believing so.

14 Comments:

Blogger ann said...

Nostalgia Bobby ... no bad thing if it helps you. If it affords you some comfort, good.

lotsa luv ann xxxxx

7:36 PM  
Blogger Unrequited said...

Bobby,
Is there something or someone who can comfort you.

Don't be too proud to reach out.

My love to you and your mother.
Your happiness would be her comfort now.

9:04 PM  
Blogger The Rev. Dr. Kate said...

Another important connection . . . A transitional object. A gift from a mother to a daughter - a security blanket. Mother's are supposed to be the security blankets for their children; the function of the transitional object is to hold that memory and promise . . . you have been and continue to be the security blanket for your mother. Is there something here for you about the role reversal you find yourself in with your Mom, particularly the decisions you are having to make for her now? Your dreams are leading you to some very important things - stay with it. This is hard and brave work. Prayers and blessings as you struggle toward your own truth.
Kate+

9:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come on now,Bobby, enough is enough! You've received plenty of advice from people here to help you. Why don't you talk about something else for a change? This is getting monotonous,already.

10:38 PM  
Blogger Riccie said...

I have found that writing out my feelings is a wonderful way release them. Yes, it may be the same subject or the same feelings for quite a while. But they do get released. Keep writing, Bobby.

11:50 PM  
Blogger mrsbg said...

anonymous: go away and leave my Bobby alone. He can write what he likes, it's his blog and we all love him and his writing, so there :p ....

.... and strictly between you and me, I'd rather he be angst ridden here than at home ;o)

mwahx mwahx mwahx

4:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mrs Bobby Goren(you wish) Go to hell,dumbass!! This jerk is FICTIONAL!!!

5:20 AM  
Blogger mrsbg said...

anonymous:

Oh dear. I do apologise for upsetting you. But tut, tut, there is absolutely no need for foul language.

Everybody knows this is all fiction; the same as reading a book or watching tv ... pure entertainment value.

6:00 AM  
Blogger VDOFan said...

Well.. I'm glad that sweater gave her time of comfort and happiness.. and a sense of security. Everyone needs that every now and then.

hugs Janice

9:33 AM  
Blogger Gem said...

anonymous,

You are free to go somewhere else, since you are so bored. Please don't ruin the fun for the rest of us.

11:56 AM  
Blogger Chloe' Gardner said...

Anonymous- fuck off.

2:49 PM  
Blogger DNY LOVES CRIMINAL MINDS said...

I think everyone has things that trigger memories of safety and comfort. We start as children associating certain objects with comfort. I guess it is just human nature. I pray for you and your mom.

Anon: Keep it up and I will hop a plane to Mass. to discuss it with you. There really is no way to stay anon these days dear. :)

3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DNY Is that a Threat or a Promise?

9:48 PM  
Blogger Jules said...

DNY, I've got some leave time coming....need me and The Axe to come for some stompin'?

2:25 PM  

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