Friday, February 24, 2006

Full of Broken Thoughts

Last Sunday I woke a bit later than usual. Sleeping late always leaves me feeling out of sorts. It's as if my body realizes just how tired it really is and I end up feeling exhausted instead of refreshed. I was fumbling around trying to make coffee when bits and pieces of a nitemare started coming back to me. Something about a little boy that was found in the river. Somehow I knew that his father was responsible and had tossed him off the bridge alive because in the dream there was a struggle, a kid screaming & then a boys' body being pulled. That was pretty much the sequence or at least it was how I remembered it to be. It was vivid and I knew it was so real to me because well, it triggered me but I tried to let it go. Awhile later I went out to grab a paper and there on the front page I read:

Boy Thrown From Bridge By Father Feared Dead

I was off of work & apparently this had transpired late the night before. By mornng they were still searching for the boys body.

This kind of thing has happened to me before, I don't know why. Maybe I've been doing this for so long that I instinctively know the patterns of crime waves & sense what hasn't happened in awhile. Maybe it's a fluke or maybe that it's because my dreams are so frequently frightening disturbing that sooner or later I have to get it right.

I don't know but it really is my secondary thought.

My first thought was knowing, absolutely knowing how frightened that boy was.

18 Comments:

Blogger ann said...

Oh my that is too spooky. Do you think you have untapped psychic powers? You are a sensitive, empathetic, knowing person... maybe you have the power but you just don't know it.

lotsa luv ann xxxxx

3:33 PM  
Blogger Jules said...

That must be a horrible thing to have to deal with in your waking hours. Wish I had more to offer, but excessive amounts of Grey Goose just isn't the remedy for you now....

4:17 PM  
Blogger Riccie said...

What a heavy burden you carry.
You cannot right all of the wrongs in this world by yourself. Look at it this way, how many people have you helped or saved in your lifetime? Sometimes you have to hang on to that.

4:33 PM  
Blogger Dr. Elizabeth Olivet said...

I had a patient that used to dream about the same victim over and over again, the part that would disturb her the most, would be knowing what was going to happen, & being powerless to stop it. A person can really destroy themselves with anguish indentifying too much with a victim.

5:51 PM  
Blogger DNY LOVES CRIMINAL MINDS said...

It is sad that sleep and dreaming is not a safe place for you. I hope that improves. I hope you have a wonderful peaceful weekend! :)

5:51 PM  
Blogger Dr. Elizabeth Olivet said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:52 PM  
Blogger valentino said...

that is too scary for me...xxx

5:54 PM  
Blogger Lady Vengeance said...

I am still right here...

5:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Full of broken thoughts...I cannot repair."

I've had similar dreams and random thoughts that transpire to be "premonition" like. Statistically, logic dictates that some of our unconscious thought will eventually become reality, like a subconscious lottery, you pick your numbers and eventually they might just come up. I don't necessarily believe in psychic ability let alone believe myself or others to be in possession of them. I do think that this kind of thing is just something some people are susceptible to.

6:06 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Oh, how awful.

7:05 PM  
Blogger Dr_Melinda_Warner said...

I agree with Ann, you are sensitive and empatheitic person, sometimes I think too much so. You don't neccearily get your self hurt, but you let your emotions take control, causing the nightmares. Relax Bobby. I know easier said than done, right?

We would all feel bad and sympathize for the father, we're human.

Take care Bobby, Mel

10:30 PM  
Blogger Isabella Manning said...

For lack of a better word, freaky.

I wish I could offer you some solice....

Or if you just need to talk, you know where to find me.

1:24 AM  
Blogger Selena Marie said...

Dear Bobby,I've had horrible dreams similar to yours,and sometimes, it's very difficult to wake up! I hope that your feeling better,and I will be thinking (or happily) dreaming about you!

4:38 AM  
Blogger VDOFan said...

I am sorry you are not having resful sleep and sweet dreams at night, and everything eats at you. Maybe you do have pyshic abilities. Maybe premonitions. Maybe you should see Dr. Olivet's help to understand them and analyze your dreams and find out why you are dreaming about such things.

I think it would most benefit you.. You went without help for so long, I don't know how you do it everyday. I just wish you were able to sleep at night and rest easy.. without such nightmares.

hugs janice

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The people who are supposed to love us unconditionally, to protect us at all cost. Parental abuse and abandonment cuts far deeper than anything else we encounter in life. I suspect you empathise deeply in this instance because you understand only too well just how that little boy felt and maybe that's why you had this "connection".

11:02 AM  
Blogger jen said...

I have always wondered how cops distance themselves from what they see every day and if there's ever a clear break or if the work is just always with them one way or another. I wonder how a person could keep sane seeing all the evil that comes with the job and how they find joy and trust after seeing so much evidence to the contrary.

5:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bobby Babe,what you need is to listen to romantic sexy Soul Music,with a special Lady ,and "Get Down",know what I mean? you too lonely,boy,and need some Gooooooood Lovin'

3:08 AM  
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10:25 PM  

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