Have you ever been in the unfortunate position to watch as someone slips from your grasp mentally? Physical injuries- well, they're obvious. Trying to argue and reason, then eventually beg and plead only to realize that it's hopeless, there is nothing that can possibly make them understand, it's just devestating.
Looking at someone that in one way or other you've loved, respected fall completely to pieces & realizing that some of those pieces seem to have rolled away, it's just an unbearable thing to endure. They have no idea what is going on. Their pain is so great that they've transcended it and believe life is perfect and you're the one with the problem. It's a mixed blessing to deal with someone completely committed to the reality of their psychosis. It's upsetting but it's impossible to be angry or channel any blame towards them. Sickness is just so apparent that the need to help far surpasses anything else you may feel.
My mother has been in a facility for the last ten years but before that it was like walking on eggshells. What episodes are really bad? What can't she pull herself out of? When do you pick up the phone & have someone committed? Admitting to yourself that it really is that bad is heart breaking. The guilt of making that kind of phone call is only ever so slightly relieved by the knowledge that the person is getting help. Providing safety & help is most important until that's been accomplished. After the fact, even though you know that you've done the safest thing, the right thing, the guilt is still crushing.
So often I've seen people fall apart in front of me during an interrogation. You see things start to slowly unravel & I just know exactly where they're going to end up. It could be a psychotic perp or it could be the psychotic perp's husband that had NO idea before then that a problem even existed. My heart sinks and I start choking back stomach acid while sitting with these people because I just know the pain ahead. Even the right decisions will eat away at the lining of your stomach.